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If you had told me I would have a 2-month-old when I turned 40 ten years ago… I would have believed it. On my time, not anyone’s. Oh, and fate, you know. I am LIVing my dream thanks to you, anak. My 40s are dedicated to my family. My husband. My daughter. My home.
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A woman stopped me in the park, and congratulated me on how good I look for 11 weeks postpartum. Damn right I do, thank you. Today, when I look into the mirror, or rather, when I look at older pictures, I mourn the body that I had. But then again, that body did not have
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… are sweet and all. But Liv is going to be stylish cute. She is my daughter after all.
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Hers and mine. Mostly mine. Sometimes, I feel I cannot have a bad week as a mother. Or even a bad day. Why so much pressure? Is it from others or… from me? Me, I reckon. This is not a drill. This is motherhood. This is life. Reminder to be kind to myself and give
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Home is where the heart is. But sometimes, home is where home is. I have never missed my own space like this in my entire life. And that is almost 40 years. I always wondered when people had heimweh. Now I know. Traveling with a 2-month-old is way too young. Staying elsewhere for 6 weeks is
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Liv is a tower of strength. Literally. Only 2 months old and stretching like she’s reaching for the stars.
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I oblige. Slept like a baby. But a 16-hour staggered sleep can never replace a good, deep, uninterrupted 8-hour sleep. I am drained.
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I have moved places and traveled all my life, but becoming a mother made — makes me crave familiarity and a safe space more than ever before. Every day is new. Every day, there is something new. Maybe that’s why I need something constant I can latch on to.
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I always wanted to be a mother. But I love being her mama. Liv is the best baby in the world (I guess every parent in the world thinks that of their kid, but in our case, it is true.)
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Do not panic. But do cry back at times. When the crying shakes you to the core, you’re not failing — you’re communicating too.
noumama 